18 June 2006

Secrets To Know

The other day, I was speaking to a co-worker who has an upcoming ceremony wherein she will be entering into a contract with a man, which we once called a wedding. During the course of the conversation, I bestowed upon her one of my gifts of human observation. I am going to impart this gem to you, Dear Reader, because you have taken the time to find this wisdom.

If you are considering a long-term commitment with another human being, sneak into their bedroom at some time when the potential life mate will not be home. Without disturbing the room, remove a pillow from the bed, and remove the pillowcase. Take the naked pillow, and rotate it. Observe the pillow's color, condition, and cleanliness. To be blunt, you are looking specifically for those tell-tale signs of a secret you have not been told:

Sleep drool.

This is one of those things that people keep hidden from those in their life, for who would willingly reveal that they emit quantities of saliva as they sleep? Go ahead and check your pillow; it can be quite the revelation ...

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